I miss her

image

She’s in the tears
in my eyes,
She’s in the muteness
on my lips,
She’s in the pain
in my heart,
She’s in the sorrow
on my face…

She’s there
I know she’s everywhere.
I made her upset
I know
I’m imprudent.

I can’t think
of not thinking about her.
I can’t breathe without
missing her
every moment.

-Sudhanshu Chouhan

Advertisements

Pandemonium

image

We live in a rat’s nest
all the time restless.
In the ever increasing entropy
it’s all just infinite chaos.
And I’m a squeaky sound
in the symphony
the universe is playing.
I’m a crazy one.
I’m a hazy one.
I should be damned
from this world.
I should be condemned
from this world.
This world
is too good for me,
for my thoughts
and my reality.

I walk ahead of them
they pull me back,
I walk behind them
they laugh at me,
I walk with them
they push me away.
I try to want to walk with them
but they don’t want me.
Why,
they’re all so confused!
–ugly holes in the fabric of
my reality,
morality.
They make me feel happy
to be a mortal;
what good is it
to live in a world
which doesn’t want to
change?
And they all want change.
I don’t.
I want them to continue
like this
and write the manuscript
of their own doom.
I don’t care
I’ll be gone soon.
In a millennium or two
they’ll all die too.
Morally, they are already
almost there.
There’s too much of
unused love
rotting in the pens of poets.
There’s too much of abhorrence
evolving
in the heads of gunmen.
There’s too much to hurt
too much to save.
Empty hearts
and empty graves.
I’ve been hurt
and I fight with it
to not let it turn
into lawless hate.
Guess I was too late.
Too much
I try
Too much
I feel
And there is too less
Time to heal.

-Sudhanshu Chouhan

My loneliness

image

My loneliness is very beautiful,
it looks like you.
A little bit like me
but more like you.

My loneliness,
like wax,
keeps on melting
in the furnace of time.
I collected it,
moulded into a figure,
its face
looks like your face.
Not mine.
Only there’s no heat in its breath.
Only there’s no light in its eyes.
Only there’s no sound in its laughter.
Only there’s no truth in its lies.

I don’t wish
to win you anymore.
I can live like this.
I will live like this.
Just tell me once
does your loneliness
also
look like me?

-Sudhanshu Chouhan