So I Let It All Out

I don’t like emotional drama because I’m an emotional person and I hate to display them to people I work with. The world around me sees me as a jerk who doesn’t give a fuck about what others feel when I throw my words at them and that is partially true. But what you’re about to read is something which I’ve been thinking about making public for a while now. I was trying to supress this emotional high but everyday people remind me of it and today I want to let it all out. This year’s Samyak made me feel alive and I hope this feeling is everlasting. Every day, since the first day of Samyak, I come across many people and randomly one person approaches me and says things like “You sing very well”, “You’re blessed”, “Your voice is like Arijit Singh”, “I’m your big fan”, and more. It may sound self-boasting but, hey who gives a fuck, people have actually approached me for my autograph. Sounds funny but that’s the truth. I mean you don’t just have a reputation in your university for nothing, eh. When even your faculty members give you a special treatment (but no marks) you know you have done something different. Good different. Something that makes them all feel proud of you. I’m overwhelmed and I’d like to take this opportunity to thank all of you who cheered for me, who came to me and said all those sweet words, who made me realise that I am something other than a couch potato.

The main people because of whom all this could be possible are three most lovely people I’ve met in this university: Manojna, Madhur and Venkat Sai. And trust me when I say they’re lovely that means they are. I don’t just go around calling people lovely. That’d be stupid. Well, they’ve known me for almost three years now and they know I’m not the jerk that everyone thinks I am. They’ve seen me transform from what I was to what I am and I hope they don’t mind me being me. It’s only because of these three people today I’m writing this, because I gave up on Swara Club in the first year, then in the second year and then in the third year and I may quit the club next year. I’m in the club only because of these three people. Now there will be no Shannu and no Manojna to call me at odd times and say “please come, we need you.” And I’m going to miss them for that but nobody will miss me if I leave the club because no one has the patience to handle me except them. Okay! Let’s just accept that our club is an army of stupid amateur singers who are oblivious of this fact and these three would agree with me without having a second thought. Still, they kept on recruiting and recruiting because they had a dream.

They always saw the club as a group of people, passionate about music, coming together and forming bonds. They gave chance to almost every idiot who came to them, including me. All they wanted was to form a group of people who were happy to be in the club and got each other’s back. Well, I’m glad to say they have succeeded the part where they bring people together because when I see the club today — it’s united, or at least we care enough to show that we are. I’d be their only failure because it’s me –I’m a loner. A group of happy people scares me. That’s that. And, frankly, it’s too sad that I and Afreen will be the only two persons to know actually how much they have done for the club and for us. Especially Manojna, I’m sure she’s aware of what people talk about behind her back, but she always stood by our side. I’d say that I love her but I’m not allowed to say that. So just a huge thanks. THANKS. Oh! I remember I sent her a text after Samyak last year. I never got to know if she did receive it. Anyway. I’d like to appreciate the efforts of Venkat Sai for all his blood, sweat, money and time he spent on and for the club, not to mention the success of Sangeeth and Raaga. Congrats! And thanks for treating me as a brother and laughing on all my jokes. Not many people do that nowadays. Apparently, arrogance has become a trend. And Shannu anna, he’s an angry young man, I didn’t like him at first but later I learnt that he’s one of the sweetest person one could come across, doesn’t worry about anything, he lets other do their business. Thanks for keeping up with my bullshit. I hope they all do well in their lives, and maybe call me sometimes just to ask me how I am doing because I’m going to miss them.

God! Where did I start writing this! Well, take it as my farewell speech for this awesome trio because I won’t be present at the farewell party if there will be any because sure as hell I’m not the person you want to be around when you’re all sentimental and crying. I won’t let you enjoy the moment. I’ll be like, “C’mon! Just get it over with.” And then I’ll sob alone when no one is around.

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