Disclaimer: This article is in no way intended to hurt anyone’s sentiments or defaming the said university. In case a reader gets offended by the content of this article he/she needs to take a laughter therapy and read books on how to grow up. Thank you for reading.
1. Your looks matter more than your outlook
The moment you step in the campus you realize that what you’re wearing is more important than what you are. Simple plain clothes, not too casual, and ID Card. Oh! ID Card is like your license to enter the campus and sit in a class. Even the PM of India can’t enter the campus without an ID card otherwise he’ll have to pay a fine and then get permission from Dr. Khan. And trust me that’s no fun. But since the university has an administrative management so I agree that this is a good practice and for this reason I give this one to them.
2. If you have a high ego and know how to read a ppt you can become a lecturer
I think this is how the interview process goes for hiring lecturers
Interviewer: Do you know how to google?
Lecturer: Yes, sir.
Interviewer: Do you know how to copy from internet?
Lecturer: Yes, sir.
Interviewer: Do you know how to paste it in a PPT?
Lecturer: Yes, sir.
Interviewer: Do you know how to read from PPT?
Lecturer: Yes, sir.
Interviewer: Are you sure you won’t teach students anything other than what you write in the PPT?
Lecturer: Yes, sir, ofcourse.
Interviewer: Are you sure you’ll show them arrogance if they ask you anything out of the ppt?
Lecturer: Yes, sir.
Interviewer: Does your ego get easily hurt?
Lecturer: Yes, sir.
Interviewer: You’re hired!
I have nothing more to say.
3. Investment on infrastructure is more important than on education
The content and its delivery is so poor that anyone would agree that whatever the technology is being used to develop the infrastructure of the campus cannot be developed by the engineers who are passing from the university. Necessary engineering tools and software are not being taught to the students at the level at which industries are using them. For example, MATLAB is the best tool in hands of any engineer because of its wide applicability. The level of MATLAB taught to students in first year is lower than the Onramp Course provided for free on Mathworks’ official website.
4. There exists a language called Tenglish
A language whose grammar has no rules or boundations. And it’s only understood by people of great mettle. WARNING: Any attempt to learn or understand this language may give you horrible vocabulary. As a normal English language speaker you may get traumatized by the amount of a’s and u’s used at the end of each word here. Take a simple English sentence “I have a pink sheep” which is impossible and you can tell that because your brain actually processed it and your cognitive abilities told you that sheep are not pink. Now take the same sentence in Tenglish, “Ayi havv-a pinku sheepu” which may give a non-Tenglish speaker brain hemorrhage. If anyone ever asks you “Whuch pluce?” then you should know that they mean “Which place are you from?” and when you hear them asking for “kiss” don’t get alarmed, just handover them your “keys”. More examples are listed below.
What ra? – What do you want dear?
Are you dinner? – Have you had your dinner?
Making rice aa? – Are you cooking rice?
I am anxiety! – I am excited!
I switch offed it – I switched it off
I don’t drink cigarette – I don’t smoke
5. Akukuralu is the life of every dish
You can’t have a dish without an army of akukuralu (curry leaves) protecting it. You may understand this just from the fact that by the time my Telugu friends finish eating I am still fighting with the curry leaves. By the time I’m done removing all the curry leaves from my food I would have three different people coming and sitting next to me, finishing their meals. By the time I start eating the food there’s already fungus in it. I don’t understand why there’s an entire plant of curry leaves in my food!!! Telugu people like only three things: Movies, Politics and Curry leaves. Which brings me to my next point.
6. The results of movies are more important than exam results
Here we have an age band which is more interested in knowing “Why did Katappa kill Baahubali?” than why their grades are so low? I don’t believe that grades are everything but they surely are something. How much your favorite actor’s movie earned is none of your business. You’re not getting anything from it. The movie stars don’t even care about you! They don’t know you! Then how and why are you giving them more importance than your own life?
7. Nobody cares for civil engineers
All the KLU students will agree with me on this. Undoubtedly, nobody cares about the civil engineering department. They don’t even have their own department building! University has given them an entire floor in the Mechanical Department building, that‘s it! And where are the jobs for Civil Engineers? The way the university’s layout is done I don’t think it actually has any interest in good civil engineering at all.
8. Royal Enfield is for everyone
Royal Enfield is not royal anymore. Gone are those days when I’d see a Royal Enfield once in a while and dream of having that motorcycle because it made the rider look cool and hot both at the same time. Royal Enfield is something I desired of having. But no more. Thanks to every third person here who has a Royal Enfield. I don’t want to write more on this because my heart bleeds.
9. In every class there are at least 23 people named Sai
Jesus! What’s the deal with people named Sai? Why are they so many Sais? It’s like an entire generation of parents ran out of first names. And Sai is so flexible you can use it anywhere in your name, for example: Sai Yaswanth or Yaswanth Sai. And this miraculous name is not just for boys, it’s a unisex name! It’s so cool that I have named my goldfish Sai Jalpari. Or should I keep it Jalpari Sai? Do tell me.
10. Talking to opposite gender is equal to having illegitimate babies with them
The university is co-ed but the FED building has separate stairs for girls and boys. This is horribly funny. You cannot walk or talk with a person of opposite gender without getting ogled by bystanders. If you are a girl then get ready to get your character certificate issued by the boys whom you don’t talk to. If you’re a guy then get ready to spend money on your friends every time they catch you talking to a girl. And one thing for both boys and girls, get good at playing hide and seek with the discipline committee.
I hope the university becomes better at teaching and get a little modernized, bend some rules, and break some traditional thinking patterns. That’s the way to grow. I’m sure that is not all that is there to be learned from 4 years at KLU. Do share your experience. Thanks for reading.
-Sudhanshu Chouhan
The Moony Wanderer 